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EXPLORATION

When the Voyager spacecraft first visited the planet, NASA scientists were careful to keep the craft extremely sterile, concerned that any bacteria unwittingly introduced to The Meat Planet could make the entire globe “go off,” quickly turning it into a putrid mass of rotting world. This would not only “stink out” the Universe but would also deny future generations a chance to taste the largest extraterrestrial food source ever discovered.

Scientists hope that one day, missions to The Meat Planet could return with enough stockpiles of interstellar meat to feed every human on Earth with thick delicious space steaks. Former UN General Secretary Kofi Annan said that mining The Meat Planet for it’s miles of sumptuous nourishment was “the greatest and most noble challenge to ever face mankind.” Adding that he had a “hankering for a gallon of liquid pork from The [Meat Planet’s] Sea of Turmoil.”