The Meat Planet is a balmy 37.5°C although wind chill can vary the temperatures depending on where you are. The weather is not always so pleasant however, hurricanes of blood and flesh can whip across the coasts, devastating inland areas and flooding valleys to the brim with iron rich liquid.

High pressure areas can lead to a lack of sweat clouds, allowing the exposed land masses to cook and burn in the noon sunshine. In temperate areas, the meat is often cooked to perfection, whereas on the equator giant scabs and blisters of burnt flesh blight the landscape, a blackened, arid desert of scorched carbon and crackled fat. The largest known blister discovered was photographed in 1997 by the Hubble Space Telescope and measured 6,500 horrible miles in diameter.

As well as grease mists and sweat clouds, evaporated blood plays a large part in the weather system of The Meat Planet. Extracted by the sun’s rays from the deep oceans of liquid meat, the blood clouds are pushed by flatulent winds over the continents where they rain back down on bulbous hills and corpulent meat mountains, helping to moisturise and irrigate the land, keeping the ground plump and fresh.

The further north or south one travels from the equator the greater the frequency of goosebumps you see protruding from the fleshy surface. Upon reaching the poles, a weary, grease-soaked traveller will be met with a haunting frozen meat landscape, expanding far beyond the horizon. A sight both disturbing and beautiful in equal measure.