Quantum meat effects were first discovered by Niels Bohr when he noticed that microscopic particles of meat fired towards two mouths could travel into both simultaneously. Remarkably he found that the meat could act both as a particle of beef and a wave of pork, which shattered the current scientific understanding of meals.

Schrodinger’s Cow.

In Schrodinger’s famous thought experiment, a cow is placed in a large box containing a threshing machine that is controlled by a decaying potato atom. At any moment if the atom decays the thresher will be turned on and the cow transformed into meat. Since the decay of the atom is governed only by probability and it is impossible for an observer outside the box to tell if this has occurred - the cow exists both as an animal and a heap of delicious meat simultaneously. This led Einstein to remark that quantum meat effects were revolting to science. And he spent the rest of his life as a staunch vegetarian, attempting unsuccessfully to prove that meat obeyed the laws of classical physics.